Every Friday The 13th Kill Ranked!

Happy Friday the 13th! In honor of Jason Voorhees’ favorite day, I decided to do something I’ve been wanting to do basically my whole life. And that’s rank every Friday the 13th kill committed by the main antagonist in each film.

I’m a purist, so I only like to consider Jason, Mrs. Voorhees, Roy Burns and his demonic possessions as worthy of my rankings. That means I won’t include any of Jason’s or Mrs. Voorhees deaths (gasp!). I also won’t include any accidental deaths or martyrs. And the criteria I’m using to rank the kills includes, creativity, special effects (makeup/stuntwork), acting (in few cases) and how it was shot. And by my count, I came up with 169 deaths by the hands of Jason or the antagonist in every movie from Friday the 13th to Freddy vs. Jason. I did not include the remake. Again, purist. Those numbers seem to be right. I counted 100 times over the past two weeks. So if I’m wrong, just let me know. And keep in mind, these are my opinions only. They probably won’t be the same as yours, but that’s what’s so awesome about being human.

So strap on your hockey masks, settle in your hammocks, grab a joint, put on some Alice Cooper, and let’s get this thing going. OK, don’t do any of those things. Unless you really want to.

169-151. Off Screen Deaths.  Claudette (Friday the 13th); Terry (Friday the 13th Part 2); Mrs. Jarvis, Rob (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter); Anita, Duke, Matthew Letter , George (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning); Roy, Paula (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives); Cop (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan): Two officers, Luke (Jason Goes to Hell); Pvt. Johnson, Sgt. Marcus, Lou, Professor Lowe (Jason X); Blake (Freddy vs. Jason).

150-147. Jason Possessions. Phil, Josh, Robert, Randy (Jason Goes To Hell): These four fell victim to the absurdity that was Jason Goes to Hell. Every time Jason possessed someone, they met their fate. Technically, they really only died when Jason left their bodies. At any rate, these kills are lame and deserve these spots on the list.

146. Diner employee (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan).  I didn’t even want to count this guy because he was thrown against a mirror. I think I could survive that and I’m not 6’8″ and 300 pounds like that guy was. But the internet counts him as a victim, so I will, too. But he’s not getting a higher spot than this from me.

145. Junky #2 (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). Jason smashes the guy’s head into a pipe and we don’t get to see any blood or makeup work. Definitely a throwaway kill for a throwaway character.

144. Junky #1 (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan).  Jason uses the junky’s favorite tool – a needle – as the weapon who kills him. There would be some irony there if this movie was smart enough for that.

143.  Security Guard (Jason X). This guy was apparently flattened by fake Jason knocking down a door. We don’t see it happen and we get some really bad CGI blood.

142. Steve Christie (Friday the 13th). It hurts me to put someone from the original movie so low, and Steve Christie especially, but his kill is just so lame. He’s stabbed with something below the screen and we never know what it was. It is interesting that we learn Steve clearly knows his killer, though.

141. Ned (Friday the 13th). Like Steve, it’s hard to rank Ned so low. But we have no idea what happens to him when he goes into that cabin. We do see him later with his throat slit, and that’s great makeup work by the legendary Tom Savini, but the kill itself is just too mysterious. I do respect the makeup enough to give the kill its own entry.

140. Joey (Jason Goes to Hell). I hate this kill. Jason, in the form of someone else, elbows mouthy Joey in the mouth. I get what they were going for, but the makeup effects are so absurd, I can’t ever get past that.

139. Sewer worker (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). I think the shadow of Jason killing this random character with a wrench was an OK touch, but this is just such a forgettable kill to me.

138. Ward (Jason Goes to Hell). I really liked when he got his hand broken, but was that enough to kill him? Or was getting thrown against a door what did it? Who knows. If how someone even dies is unclear, then it’s not a good kill.

137-132. Ravers (Jason Goes to Hell). There’s just so much going on here, that we’re just going to put these kills right here and move on.

131. Jock (Freddy vs. Jason). Random, nameless character gets his neck broken and there’s some bad CGI. Which is the theme of Freddy vs. Jason.

130. Barry (Friday the 13th). So Barry’s kill isn’t the best. He’s stabbed out of frame, but does fall back into frame all bloody. But since he’s the very first kill ever, I had to arbitrarily move him up on the list a little.

129. Sven (Jason X). And now we start the part of this list where we throw in all the pointless Jason X kills. You know, the ones they threw in just to stack the body count. These are pretty interchangeable, but I’m trying to still use my criteria to rank them. Sven gets his neck broken. That’s super boring.

128. Dallas (Jason X). Head bashed the wall. Yawn.

127. Briggs (Jason X). She was killed off screen, so that’s lame, but we do get to see her body swinging from a giant hook.

126. Geko (Jason X). She gets her throat slit and lingers a bit, so this isn’t the lamest kill. But we’ve seen much better throat slits from Jason.

125. Kicker (Jason X). Jason slices him in half off screen, but we do get to see half of him crawling across the floor leaving his own bloody snail tracks.

124. Stoney (Jason X). This horny space teen gets a machete to the gut, and while there was a decent blood spray, we don’t even see him die.

123. Deckhand (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). He gets an axe in the back off-screen but stumbles into frame before dying. Nothing to write home to about.

122. Officer Ryan (Jason Goes to Hell). Fake Jason smashes her head into a locker. We’ve seen this type of kill so many times and this one brings nothing new.

121. Kia (Freddy vs. Jason). Part of me wanted to rank this kill last because it’s so stupid. Jason whacks her with a machete and sends her flying through the air against a tree. Nothing about it makes sense. Kelly Rowland deserved better than this.

120. Alexis (Jason Goes to Hell). I kind of hate all these fake Jason kills. This one was another boring one. A scalpel to the face. Zzzz.

119. Maddie (Friday the 13th Part 7).  Maddie was technically killed off screen. We did get to see the chase and the body later, so that’s why she at least gets her own entry. I blame the MPAA.

118. Shelly (Friday the 13th Part 3). I understand that Shelly is a fan favorite. I mean he’s the reason Jason has the hockey mask. I get it. But all that is even more of a reason that Shelly’s kill comes in so low on the list. He deserved better. We saw him show up with his throat slit, but we have no idea how it went down. Thanks to Friday the 13th The Game, however, we get to Shelly die many different ways. And hey, we’re down to 100!

117-114. Guards (Jason X).  We get our first look at just how badass Jason is going to be in this one when he takes on four armed guards in a total assault that leaves them all dead.

113. Linderman (Freddy vs. Jason). The token nerd of this movie gets thrown across the room, where he lands on a sharp shelf bracket. He’s impaled by that but doesn’t die until later when bleeds out against a tree. Zzzz.

112. Billy (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). The only character development we got from Billy was that he was a coke head pervert, so not only was he a pointless character, his kill was kind of embarrassing. He got an axe to the back of the head, and let’s just say it had me aching for Tom Savini.

111-110. Steven and Annette (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). I’m always a fan of a double impalement and I liked the idea of putting them on a motorcycle. I just wish this movie wasn’t so watered down with the gore.

109. Blake’s Dad (Freddy vs. Jason). We don’t see it happen, but dad gets his head cut off and we get to see it fall off into Blake’s hands. It was a fun little scene and one of the less lame effects we see in this movie.

108. Raymond (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). I still don’t even know who this guy is, but his kill is so lame. He gets stabbed in the stomach. Pointless character, lazy kill.

107-106. Gibb and Raver (Freddy vs. Jason). These two get the double impalement treatment, this time with a huge rusty pipe. The best part: the rapey raver getting tossed into the cornfield.

105. David (Friday the 13th Part 7). Resident stoner David got the munchies after boning Robin, so he heads downstairs for some food. After all that setup, David gets a knife in the stomach with little fanfare. We do get to see his decapitated head later, so I guess Jason got bored and decided to do that off screen.

104. Shelby (Jason Goes to Hell). I love that Leslie Jordan appeared in this movie and his kill was a pretty fun one. Getting your head deep-fried isn’t something that happens everyday.

103. Sandra (Friday the 13th Part 7). This is a pretty boring kill, but it didn’t get ranked lower because of the actual terror the actress showed us when she saw her boyfriend dead on the lakeshore.

102. Chief Engineer Carlson (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). This isn’t the most exciting kill, but the way it’s shot is really cool. We see Jason come up behind him and harpoon him in the back, and it’s all silent aside from the outside storm noises as we are seeing it through the other side of the window.

101. Captain Robertson (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). This is a pretty good throat slit. We could have done without the slow motion. Not sure what made the ship captain so special he got a slow-mo kill.

100. Diana (Jason Goes to Hell). I really hate this movie. Have I mentioned that? It’s really hard for me to rank these kills any higher when Jason didn’t do the killing. I mean give me Roy Burns any day over these possessed people. Anyway, I did like that the weapon this time around was a knife sharpener instead of an actual knife. Those things are scary looking.

99. Jane (Friday the 13th Part 7). Jane gets stabbed with a tent spike … I guess in the neck, even though Jason’s hand was in the way. But when her body is shown a minute later, she’s spiked to the tree via neck. So I don’t know. This one has always confused me.

98. Janessa (Jason X). This is an interesting one because technically Jason didn’t directly kill her, but he’s still responsible for her death. When he punches a hole in the spaceship, it causes a suction that pulls a grate from the floor to the wall and then Janessa from the floor through the grate and the hole in the wall. What’s left is just some gripping gore.

97. Michael (Friday the 13th Part 7). The initial killing is a bit boring with the tent spike thrown into his back. But later, when Tina has a premonition of the killing, we actually get to see some blood slipped in there despite the MPAA’s harsh regulations on this movie.

96. Lana (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). After the cokehead boyfriend Billy gets the axe to the head, she gets the axe to the stomach. The makeup effects on her kill were definitely better, thus her higher ranking.

95. Vicki (Jason Goes to Hell). I should stop complaining every time I have to rank on of these Jason Goes to Hell kills. I’ll start now. Vicki got her head popped like a tick. That was fun.

94. Shack (Freddy vs. Jason). We’ve already established that the CGI in this movie was awful. But this kill, the flaming machete through the back and out the front was actually pretty decent. I still don’t know how the machete was flaming, but if I can suspend reality enough to get through 11 movies where Jason dies and comes back, I can overlook this.

93. Boxer (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). After losing his boxing match to Julius, unnamed dude decides to head to the sauna. Jason heats things up for him as he smashes a hot sauna rock through his chest. The little fire that starts in his chest is the best part.

92. Russell (Friday the 13th Part 7). Another kill that fell victim to the ratings folks, was Russell’s axe to the face. We don’t get to see much until after the fact when Sandra spots him from her soon-to-be watery grave. Wait, Jason pulls her from the lake and she’s found laying in the woods later. Never mind.

91. Mr. McCulloch (Friday the 13: Jason Takes Manhattan). I wanted a much more painful death for this asswipe. I guess it was fitting enough that Jason drowned him in a garbage barrel filled with toxic-looking water.

90. Pete (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). Pete gets his throat slashed with a machete, meaning this kill could either be here at number 72 or all the way down to 100, depending on my mood. It’s an average kill.

89.  Eddie (Friday the 13th Part 7). Another scaled back kill with the sci-fi geek. He gets a machete to the neck while sitting in his tighty-whites crying over being rejected by a girl.

88. Freeberg (Freddy vs. Jason). In one of the better kills in this movie (because they didn’t rely solely on CGI), Jason cuts the stoner in half, leaving his body in two pieces in a hallway.

87. Robin (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). We’ve seen the knifed from beneath a bed/hammock/raft thing before, and it was done much better (and by the real Jason or his Mom!). No offense, Roy Burns.

86. Stubbs (Freddy vs. Jason). And now for a special segment called “You Gotta Play it Safe Around Electricity.” Yes, the next four kills were all by electrocution. And I find those kills to be super boring. But I am at least ranking them in order of how well they were done, from worst to best, of course.

85. Chuck (Friday the 13th Part 3). Chuck was so high I’m not sure he realized what happened.

84. Crutch (Jason X). This is one was more like a crushed face into an electrical board that also maybe electrocuted him.

83. Wayne (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). The best of the four was Wayne’s. Having just accidentally murdered a deckhand, it was only fitting that Jason sentence him to death by electrocution. And his body actually catches on fire, which I think starts a fire that takes out a lot more of the teenagers on that boat.

82-81. Officers (Jason Goes to Hell). It took a long enough time for this kind of kill to happen. We have seen plenty of double impalements, but two people having their heads bashed together was inventive. Oh look, I said something nice about Jason Goes to Hell. But wait, I’m not done yet!

80. Edna (Jason Goes to Hell). I seriously wrote a short story (yes I was a psycho kid) before I saw this movie where a slasher killed someone by slamming their head in a car door. So when I finally saw this kill, I was so excited.  I love this kill, or at least the idea of this kill. It could have been done better, but I give it bonus points for creativity.

79. Harold (Friday the 13th Part 3). Having survived being nagged nearly to death by his wife, Harold gets a cleaver to the chest in the first kill of the third movie in the franchise. Sadly, his last meal was fish food.

78. Jim (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). Jim gets stabbed with a spear gun and there’s a little blood, but for the most part it’s forgettable (especially after you grow up and learn those were not guts Jason pulls out of Jim’s stomach).

77. Suzi (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). I just couldn’t split Jim and Suzi up. After Jason kills her boyfriend, she gets it with a fishing spear to the chest.

76. Robin (Friday the 13th Part 7). Robin gets tossed through a window and onto the ground, and while I like the simplicity of the kill, it’s done much better in Part 4 (you’ll see that later on this list).

75. Edna (Friday the 13th Part 3). 75! I feel like this is a milestone! Harold’s better half gets it shortly after he does. Jason uses her own knitting needed on her when he grabs her from behind and stabs the needle through the back of her head and out her mouth, missing his own hand. Good aim.

74. Dr. Wimmer (Jason X). It was an early kill of an underdeveloped kill, but it was David Cronenberg, so respect. The spear through the back was one of the more solid kills from the movie.

73. Jake (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). After getting rejected by Robin, which seems to be a theme for girls named Robin in these movies, Jake bites it when good ole Roy Burns whacks him in the face with a meat clever. This is a kill done better in the movie just before this one.

72. Ben (Friday the 13th Part 7). Yet again, another kill watered down to make the ratings people happy. Sigh. Ben gets his head crushed by Jason, and it’s not the best head crushing kill, but the sound effects are pretty good.

71. Dan (Friday the 13th Part 7). Dan is off to fetch some wood when Jason decides to give him a hand… right through his back. And if that wasn’t enough, he snaps his neck.

70. Ali (Friday the 13th Part 3). Ali was a great character who Jason had a hard time killing. We first think he’s killed earlier in the movie, but shows up again later when the Final Girl leg is being run. Jason cuts off his hand and then whacks him over and over with a machete to finally get the job done.

69. Officer Thornton (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). This is a fun kill because Jason shows how good his aim is. He’s really far away, but managed to get a fishing dart right in the officer’s forehead. Bonus points for the way he falls into the canoe and the shot fades in and out of darkness because of a swinging light on the dock.

68. Hitchhiker (Friday the 13th Part 4). I’ve always thought this random kill was hilarious and always left me with making up stories about what her name was and why she was hitchhiking out there. It also always left me wanting a banana. I was a weird kid, though.

67. Fox (Friday the 13th Part 3). Even though Fox was killed off-screen, I love this character, despite how brief she’s around. And her being discovered by Loco stuck to the barn rafter with a pitchfork to the neck was a great scene. The camera pan to show us the scope of it, is what sets this off-screen kill apart from others we don’t see.

66. Ethel (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). Ethel was kind of awesome. Do this day, when I’m feeding my dogs I sometimes tell them to “come get this F-ing slop.” The meat clever to the face is nothing new, but I do love when her face falls into Junior’s stew. Mmmm, extra flavor.

65. JJ (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). It’s not the goriest kill, but it is the only time Jason kills someone with their own electric guitar.

64. Martin (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). I admit I held onto this kill for as long as I could all because of the funny line Martin has before his death. He tells his trust bottle of whiskey that she’s going to be the death of him, and she is. After he throws the empty bottle, Jason catches it, breaks it in his hands and stabs the graveyard caretaker in the throat with it.

63. Azrael (Jason X). There’s nothing gory about this kill, and honestly, it doesn’t even seem necessarily deadly, but it’s pretty hilarious. Jason simply breaks Azrael over his knee. I could watch it over and over. On a loop would be fun, actually. Can someone gif that for me?

62. Vinnie (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). This random greaser gets a road flare to the mouth. This isn’t the best makeup job, but I love the weapon of choice. And the glow inside his head is a nice touch. That Roy Burns was a resourceful one.

61. Tamra (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). The bitchy prom queen gets the royal treatment from Jason as he delivers to her his only kill with a shard of mirror glass.

60. Officer Pappas (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). Jason gives us another head crush kill, and again, it’s the sound effects that bring this one home.

59. Violet (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). I’m probably going to catch heat for putting this one up so high since the actual kill is just a closeup of a knife in the stomach, but it’s the lead up that I love. I love her 80s dancing and the song and the creepy stalking of it all. I think it’s an underrated kill.

58. Darren (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). I loved that Darren tried to fight back with his little revolver. But he was no match for Jason’s fence rod. The best part was Jason tossing Darren over his head like a game of leap-frog. Bonus points for this being Tony Goldwyn’s (“Ghost,” “Last House on the Left (2009),” “Scandal”) first role.

57. Lizabeth (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). It would be unfair to separate the two of these, so Lizbeth comes in just above, or is it below, Darren. She finds her fate with the same weapon, only this time the fence rod goes through her head as she lays in a puddle of mud pleading for her life.

56. Creighton Duke (Jason Goes to Hell). This kill should probably be ranked lower than this, but I had to give some respect to the best character in that shit movie. And plus it’s the first kill of the movie by Jason proper. Creighton gets crushed to death by Jason by a big sweet bear hug. Bonus points for this giving us the bear hug kill option in Friday the 13th The Game.

55. Bill (Friday the 13th). I struggled with where to put this kill because it’s from the original and it has some great makeup from Savini later when the body shows up nailed to a cabin door, but the actual kill was completely off-screen. So I settled on this spot. Same goes for Brenda, in the next spot.

54. Brenda (Friday the 13th). Brenda is lured out to the archery range but a strange child-like voice just to get shot with a bow and arrow off-screen. Her body shows up later, though, as she’s thrown through the window during the Final Girl leg of the movie.

53. Amanda Shepard (Friday the 13th Part 7). The most memorable thing about this death isn’t the garden tool to the back, it’s that she was used as a human shield by Dr. Crews, the most cowardly character in the franchise.

52. Loco (Friday the 13th Part 3). The random biker gets a pitchfork to the stomach, which sounds a little basic, but the best parts are when he reaches behind him to feel the forks coming out of his back, and the blood on his cigarette that lets us know this was definitely a fatal wound.

51. Terri (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). She was in such a hurry to get away from Crispin Glover’s dancing that she decided to take a bike ride in the pouring rain. And look what happened. She gets speared in the back by Jason. We only see the kill in a shadow from the lightening, but it’s a pretty cool scene anyway.

50. Deputy Winslow (Friday the 13th Part 2). 50! Another milestone! After stumbling onto hillbilly Jason’s bungalow, the police officer gets a hammer claw to the head. What makes this kill stand out is how much that had to hurt. You know it’s probably not going to kill you instantly, so that’s going to be one helluva bad headache.

49. Dr. Crews (Friday the 13th Part 7). I loved that Jason used a gas-powered brush saw to kill this d-bag, I just wish there had been some more suffering for Bad News Crews. Terry Kiser is great at playing a dead guy. That’s my obligatory Weekend at Bernie’s reference in case it got lost on anyone.

48. Chili (Friday the 13th Part 3). Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I love Chili’s reaction to finding Shelly dead. I also love the hot fire poker through the stomach she gets. The sizzling sound effects top it off nicely.

47. Tina (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). I bended my off-screen death rule again for Tina because the concept is just so good. She’s laying there naked when Roy Burns walks up and stabs her in the eyes with some garden shears. The camera is on the sheers and not Tina, but the way he struggles to close the shears shut while inside her skull is chilling. Then we get a shot of the aftermath, which is some pretty solid makeup work.

46. Assistant Coroner (Jason Goes to Hell). Jason uses the coroner’s body to grab the nameless assistant coroner and plants his face onto a grated table where he stabs him with some autopsy tools. But it’s the shot after, with his face smashed through the crate like a potato slicer that sold me on this kill.

45. Junior (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). I swear, Part 5 has some great kills to be such a poorly lauded movie. This is another good one. The makeup work isn’t amazing, but the whole scene is great. Junior is throwing a tantrum on his dirt bike after he got his ass kicked by Tommy Jarvis and Roy Burns Jason holds out his clever (which seems to be his favorite weapon) and slices Junior’s head off. Awww, he didn’t even get to have any of Mama’s F-ing slop.

44. Miles (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). Miles was a minor character, but he had a major death. Jason grabs Miles from a ladder and tosses him onto a an atannae? A weather vane? Whatever it was, it was pretty sweet. But not quite as sweet as the next, similar kill. Oh, I love a good segway.

43. Condor (Jason X). This dude gets tossed onto a giant screw, but the best part is when his body kind of just screws itself down onto the screw. Great kill.

42. Kate (Friday the 13th Part 7). Officially the only victim to die by a party horn to the eye, Kate earned this spot. And the honk as Jason jams it in her eye is so festive.

41. Sara (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). Sara, the innocent girlm decided to be naughty, which as we know is basically signing your own death warrant. Sara gets an axe to the chest after Jason throws it through a door. Our dude has great aim. That was a closed, solid door.

40. Allen (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). It’s fast and a character we barely know, but Allen is Jason’s first kill after sleeping through Roy Burns’ massacre. And the fact that he punches all the way through Allen with his heart in his hand is proof just how powerful this Jason is going to be.

39. Scott (Friday the 13th Part 2). Pervy Scott gets caught in a booby trap (did Jason set that? I’ve always wondered) and while he’s hanging upside down, Jason slits his throat. It’s not the best upside down kill (that’s still to come), but it’s a pretty good one.

38. Court (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). Court is just driving along in the RV listening to some Alice Cooper when Jason shows up behind him and stabs him in the temple with a knife. It’s the RV flip and subsequent fire that makes this kill Top 25 worthy.

37. Ted (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). Wanna give the ole Teddy Bear a kiss? Nah, just a knife in the back of the head. This is a pretty standard kill, but how it goes down is unique. Jason stabbing him in the back of the head through a film projector screen that was playing vintage porn is pretty top notch.

36. Crazy Ralph (Friday the 13th Part 2). I love Ralph. I wish he was never killed and showed up in every movie to warn the teens. But that didn’t happen. Jason strangled him with some barbed wire. Rest in Peace, Crazy Ralph. Should have taken your own advice.

35. Demon (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). Hey, Baby. Hey Baby. Ooh Baby, Ooh Baby. Tell me you’ve never sang that to your dog. Only me? Oh. Demon gets murdered in an outhouse. With a large metal spike. Roy Burns might not have been the real Jason, but he was an inventive killer.

34. Nurse Morgan (Friday the 13 Part 4: The Final Chapter). I went back and forth on how good this kill was. I just love Part 4 so much and it’s so hard to rank any of them poorly. Anyway, Nurse Morgan gets a scalpel to the the chest and Jason proceeds to slice her open vertically.

33. Samantha (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). Instead of a bed, it’s a raft. Jason pulls the ole stab from beneath trick as she’s floating in Crystal Lake. Her death rattles are some of the more absurd in the franchise, which makes me love it more.

32. Sissy (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). Sissy gets pulled through a cabin window and Jason doesn’t just break her neck, he twists it off. The actress’ (Renee Jones) eyeroll is a nice touch. This would probably be a Top 10 kill for me, if the scene where Jason was holding the head was a little better. But it’s still a great kill.

31-29. Katie, Stan and Larry (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). I love this scene. I wish I could rank it higher, but after a huge inner debate, I have to land them here. Jason drops down from a tree right in front of this trio, and with one swipe of the machete, cuts all of their heads off. Part 6 Jason is one of the baddest-ass Jasons. No contest.

28. Alice (Friday the 13th Part 2). I know, I know. It’s Alice. And she was Jason’s first victim. But if I’m being honest, and not just trying to be a purist, it’s not that great a kill. It’s an icepick to the head. I respect it, but there are much better kills.

27. Doug (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). Jason has crushed a lot of heads in his day. And Doug’s is the best, if you ask me. It’s classic horror makeup work and the crunch when Jason presses his head against the shower wall with his barehand is phenomenal.

26-25. Jeff and Sandra (Friday the 13th Part 2). Ah, yes. Jason’s first double impalement. Jeff and Sandra just finished getting it on when Jason comes in with a spear and unites the two as never before. This kill would’ve ranked higher had we seen more than just the spear coming through the bottom of the bed. Oh, and Top 25!

24. Paul (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). That spear gun right in the junk. Man. That still hurts when I think about it.

23. Vicki (Friday the 13th Part 2). It’s the lead up to this kill that makes it Top 25. Jason stabs her below the screen, but her pulling back the covers to reveal bag-head Jason is one of the scariest moments in a typically not-scary franchise. It’s just a great scene. I wish there was some blood, but what can you do…

22. Debbie (Friday the 13th Part 3). I’ve always been bothered by Debbie’s death, because of that added understory that she’s pregnant. As far as under the bed/hammock/raft kills go, though, this is pretty solid. And I love that she’s reading a Fangoria magazine about makeup artist Tom Savini because the whole scene is an homage to Kevin Bacon’s death in the original, which is still to come on this list.

21. Eddie (Friday the 13th: A New Beginning). The best kill in the Jason copycat movie goes to Eddie. I kind of wish he could go in an even higher spot, but I just can’t give Roy Burns that much credit. But this unique kill is always one of my favorites. Roy grabs Eddie from behind with a leather strap around his eyes and tightens it, causing his eyes and skull. What’s cool about this is the weapon. Roy clearly had to premeditate this one. He was hardcore.

20. Burt (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). I know people love this kill, but top 20 is the best I can give it. I think it’s a funny scene, and I love how stunned Jason seems to be at his own strength when he sees that he’s ripped his arm off. But the face smash against the tree with the smiley face is just too silly. I usually tell myself that smiley was already carved in the tree before Burt’s face was planted there.

19. Rick (Friday the 13th Part 3). The ole eye pop kill. I remember rewinding this one on a VHS copy of the movie I had as a wee kid. It looked so much cooler then than it does now. I’m sure it served its purpose in 3D, but if you really look at it now, it looks so absurd. But we love it anyway.

18. Sheriff Garris (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). I can’t say this enough: Part 6 Jason is the baddest of asses. He breaks the poor sheriff in half by bending him over backward. Imagine that pain. Damn.

17. Annie (Friday the 13th). The best throat slit in the franchise goes to Pamela Vorhees (and makeup artist Tom Savini). Annie, the camp cook never makes it camp because she ignores Crazy Ralph’s warnings and hitches a ride with the most overbearing mother in history. She ends up with a slit throat, and everyone at camp goes hungry.

16. Melissa (Friday the 13th Part 7). I’m sure some of you will scratch your heads at this one being so high, but I just love this kill. If this was my private list, it would be even higher. I love that Melissa is the last to die, breaking the rule that the bitchy girl dies early. And I love how stunned she is just before Jason delivers an ax to her head. But it’s the toss across the room and behind the TV set that pushes it to the next level.

15. Eva (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). Same thing goes for this kill as Melissa. I always thought it was great. It was a simple kill with Jason uses his bare hands, but the disorienting sequence leading up to it, and Kelly Hu’s acting is great. The bone crunching sound effects and the toss onto the floor when he’s done with her top it off.

14. Jimbo (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). No list would be worthy without Crispin Glover’s character’s kill rounding out at least the Top 15. When Jimmy asks Ted for the fancy corkscrew, Ted is too stoned to answer, but Jason isn’t. He stabs him in the hand with the corkscrew before whacking him in the face with a meat cleaver.

13. Vera (Friday the 13th Part 3). Only slightly better makeup than Rick’s kill, Vera’s kill works much better because of the speed of the kill. Jason shoots her in the eye with a fishing dart, once again proving how good an aim he is. Even with that bad eye.

12. Deborah (Jason Goes to Hell). This kill is one of the best in the franchise, as long as you watch the unrated version. It’s a story as old as time. Two teens banging in a tent when Jason comes a long to interrupt. OK, it’s not really Jason, but forget about that right now. Faux Jason takes a sharp sign post, impales her in the back with it and then slices her in half from stomach to shoulder. It’s such a gruesome kill, it gets all my respect, despite how bad that movie is. Editor’s note: Excuse the lame photo for this entry. But we aren’t trying to post nudity. 

11. Trey (Freddy vs. Jason). Like the last entry, this comes from a movie I’d rather forget, but this kill is just too damn good to ignore. Trey is a total douche so when Jason stabs the living shit out of him and then folds him in half in the bed, overkill is the last thing on your mind.

10. Julius (Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan). And here we are. Our Top 10 Friday the 13th kills! Of course Julius rounds out the final stretch. The tough guy boxer from Part 8 makes it pretty far and delivers some nice licks to Jason before his own TKO. Jason grabs Julius by the jacket and delivers a punch that sends his head flying off his shoulders and into a Dumpster.

9. Tina (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). The reason Tina’s death is in my Top 10 is how real it all looks. The body being tossed from the window and onto the car is one of the most believable deaths in the series. And when the car roof buckles and the windows explode, it earns an A+ in horror movie kills. I will always love that scene.

8. Nikki (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives). Sure, the Part 6 kills are silly. That was what that movie was going for. And Nikki’s death is one of the most memorable out of all the movies. Jason yanks her into the RV bathroom and smashes her face into the wall. It then cuts to the outside of the RV and we see her face impression forming in the metal of the side of the vehicle. It’s a beautiful moment.

7. Judy (Friday the 13th Part 7). Everyone knows about this kill. Judy zips herself up in her yellow sleeping bag, thinking she will escape Jason’s wrath. Instead he drags her, sleeping bag and all outside and smashes her against a tree. This was so good we see it again in a Jason X virtual reality scene. But I didn’t include those kills because they weren’t real.

6. Axel (Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter). This was the moment you know Tom Savini has come back. He skipped parts 2 and 3 and returned for the “final chapter.” Axel getting the surgical saw to the neck and then Jason twisting his head around is what nightmares are made of.

5. Andy (Friday the 13th Part 3). There were times when I thought about making this kill my No. 1. I love it so much. It’s definitely the best part about Part 3. Are you shocked I didn’t say the 3D gimmicks were the best part? Anyway, Andy is walking on his hands when Jason approaches and slashes him between the legs. And we see Andy’s body actually cut in half stowed away in the rafters a little later.

4. Marcie (Friday the 13th). It’s only fair Pamela and Savini get their fair credit in our Top 10. Marcie’s death comes in at No. 4 because of the atmospheric and jarring scene and the makeup effects. Pamela stalks Marcie while she’s in the camp bathroom and then whacks her in the head with an axe. We don’t see the impact, even though they shot the scene using an intricate bust of the actress. But the immediate aftermath is some of the best makeup work in the franchise.

3. Mark (Friday the 13th Part 2). Mark’s kill is a classic. There’s just something about it that always resonates with people. Maybe it’s because he’s in a wheelchair. Maybe it’s because he’s a gorgeous man. Maybe it’s because after Jason whacks him in the face with a machete, the wheelchair topples down that insanely long flight of stairs. Whatever the reason, it’s one of my favorites and deserves its spot her in the Top 3.

2. Adrienne (Jason X). This kill tops many lists, but I’m purist, as you’ll see with my No. 1. But his kill is fucking fantastic. There’s not other way to say it. Just saying fantastic doesn’t do it justice. As you probably know, Jason is in space. Try to forget that part. And he grabs Adrienne and dunks her head into some liquid nitrogen, freezing her to death. But that’s not enough Space Jason. He then smashes her frozen face into a table, leaving behind bloody mush that looks like a black cherry slushy. Now I’m thirsty.

1. Jack (Friday the 13th). No drumroll needed, but here’s the No. 1 kill. It’s a classic, and I couldn’t deny it’s rightful spot. For starters, it’s Kevin Bacon. Secondly, it’s Tom Savini’s favorite kill. And if you get the uncut version, it’s actually one of the bloodiest kills in the entire series. That might sound crazy to you, but we don’t see a lot of blood in these movies, and if we do they’re pretty quick flashes. What makes this scene even more special is that it was the most complex to film and almost didn’t work. It took hours to set up and when it came time to film, a pump that was set up to pump the blood out of Kevin’s wound malfunctioned. Savini’s assistant Taso N. Stavrakis had to manually blow into the hose until the blood flowed. They only had one take to get it right. The result was more blood than they expected, but it kind of made it even more perfect that way. “I had to think quick, so I just grabbed the hose and blew like crazy which, thankfully, caused a serendipitous arterial blood spray,” Stavrakis said in an interview. “The blood didn’t taste that bad either.”

What are your favorite Friday the 13th kills? Feel free to share your Top 10 or Top 20 in our comments section below! I would love to read your thoughts!

Shoutout to Dead Meat and the Friday the 13th Wiki Fandom, for helping refresh my memory on those later movies like Jason Goes to Hell and Jason X with all those convoluted kills. I’m a pro on Parts 1 through 8, but those others are kind of a mess.

1 Comment

  1. You left out the most important one: Jason’s own death in F13: The Final Chapter – The way his head descends down the blade of the machete was great!

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